What Makes Guys Shut Down Emotionally And Withdraw | Relationship Advice With Carlos Cavallo


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What Makes Guys Shut Down Emotionally And Withdraw | Relationship Advice With Carlos Cavallo

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What Makes Guys Shut Down Emotionally And Withdraw

Look, it’s no secret that there are two things that every relationship question boils down to in my experience…

– How do I get my guy to ADORE, WORSHIP, and APPRECIATE me?
AND
– How do I get my guy to stop shutting down and withdrawing from me? He’s distant…

And if I’m perfectly straight with you here – and I always am – #2 is pretty much the same as #1, even if it doesn’t seem like it on the surface.

Let’s be real here – Guys are not easy to reach emotionally.

– We’re hard to read…
– We don’t always talk about our feelings…
– We even go so far as to hide a lot of our emotional content from you…

So yeah, I get it. Men seem emotionally distant.

But here’s the honest-to-gosh truth:

Men feel emotions just as deeply as women do. We just keep them out of sight.

FACT: Men are never rewarded for being “more emotional” or expressive. In most men’s experience, we never win by being emotionally transparent to anyone. It’s how we grew up.

So while you might THINK this is a shortcoming, you would actually get really sick and tired of a guy who was emotional all the time.

Trust me. I used to pull that on some women back in my 20s, and I noticed that they would lose attraction for me in just a few dates. Almost like clockwork.

FACT: Men are not attractive when overly emotional.

You know it. No matter how much you WANT a guy to be more emotional, you also know you’d get sick of that really quickly. It’s okay in your girlfriends, but not in a guy.

That being said, I think guys need to know how to BETTER communicate their emotions to women.

And truthfully, we will share our feelings more – if you do something first.

I’ll tell you what that special thing is in a bit, but first, let’s talk about what makes guys shut down emotionally and grow cold.

Why he goes distant on you – REASON #1: He’s overwhelmed.

Yeah, you might have heard me say this once or twice. Guys don’t respond to women’s emotional expression in the best way.

Let me give you a quick example:

After a few weeks of relationship problems, you’ve had enough. You’ve reached your limit, and now you decide to have it out with him. Let’s say you’ve just spent 15 minutes explaining your frustrations with him.

Hey, it’s easy to “ride the rapids” of emotional purging when you finally feel free to express yourself.

THE PROBLEM: This leaves him with about 2 minutes of emotional tolerance left over to talk to you. You see, he just spent 15 minutes coping with emotional dialogue that has probably flooded his system.

He’s now completely spent from just keeping his act together while he listened and held your emotional container for a quarter hour. You probably feel GREAT, venting all that anger, panic, fear, and hurt.

He feels like dog poop. And now he just wants this whole thing to be over so he can soothe his raw emotional nerves with a game of Call of Duty on the X-box.

He feels it all in his body: A big CLENCH that starts from his toes, works it’s way through all his muscles, his gut, and then up the back of his neck into his brain.

He’s like a cat backed into a corner. All he wants is OUT – in any way possible.

Which means you’re unlikely to get a lot of emotional sharing from him.

Recognize that you may have to split this emotional venting session up into two parts…

Start out by explaining that you have “a few things to get off your chest.” Then do it. Quickly.

And then you have to…

FIND OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT – in the link above…

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
http://www.datingadviceguru.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlosdatingguru
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What Makes Guys Shut Down Emotionally And Withdraw
https://youtu.be/5rMXig6YB_k

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